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Hidden Dubai

4 October 2011 · by

Moira from Ireland accompanied her husband Aidan on his expat assignment to Dubai. Struggling with the different culture, especially a woman’s role in it, she befriends her husband’s business partner’s wife and gets a completely different insight into Dubai society.

I had expected as much! Aidan and I had been on vacation to Abu Dhabi before, and I was aware of the fact that I need to cover up when I go outside, that at best, I should wear the traditional abaya, if only to make my own life easier. Indeed it is what ended up being my very first purchase as a resident of Dubai!

Aidan’s company offered him a transfer to their newly opened Dubai office and I figured it would be a good chance to discover a new culture, especially since our son was not yet in kindergarten. Lucky for us, the entire move – from visas to housing – was organized by Aidan’s company. I cannot stress how very helpful that is, for moving to the Emirates is not as easy as it may look!
Once we settled in and Aidan began working all day, I started to feel bored. Normally, back in Dublin, I would have taken Sean out for a stroll or gone to the park, but here it was just too hot! I had already visited all the malls and quite frankly I am just not a fan of them, it’s too crowded, too cold and just too uneventful for a two-year old child!

It was about a month in when I decided I had to do something about this because my levels of boredom were getting out of control and slowly turning into aggression towards my environment, which I didn’t want to happen, nor did I particularly think would be fair. I thought about telling Aidan, but I was pretty sure he would tell me it will just take time and that I will eventually find my niche – his typical response! I lucked out on not having to tell anyone because we were invited out to dinner by my husband’s boss/business partner. As he was a relatively wealthy man, we ended up going to an exclusive restaurant and left Sean with the babysitter. The boss’s wife showed up and to my immense relief she spoke fluent English and was incredibly kind. We sat for hours talking and pretty much ignored our husbands. Even though I had only met her a few hours ago I felt I was able to tell her everything, so I did and complained about the lack of human contact in my life at the moment. She smiled and simply said, she would arrange for me to be picked up the following day. With Sean I asked? Yes, of course, she had 3 kids herself.

This is when my real adventure in Dubai began! Sean and I were picked up in a shiny black SUV the next morning and brought to Leila’s home. When I entered I was amazed to be greeted by several women my age, all wearing normal street clothes. I must have looked a bit surprised, because Leila laughed and assured me that they did not always walk around in abayas and that when men weren’t around they usually dressed like this.
Although I had heard this was the case from books, I was nonetheless surprised to see that these women were just like me! I had always thought they sit around and drink tea and wait for their husbands to come home while taking care of their children, but I was taught quite differently very quickly.

As all of Leila’s friends spoke fluent English and had all studied something fascinating, I quickly discovered I had been introduced into a lively round of very opinionated women! They all had kids and wealthy husbands, so they met every day at another woman’s house to discuss books, politics, occasionally go out got lunch or shopping, etc.
I was so happy to have met these lovely ladies and despite being western and not really knowing much about their religion, they accepted me as one of their own and I was soon hosting weekly events at our flat. I have been living in Dubai for 2 years now and have just recently given birth to our second son. Sean is now in an international kindergarten along with Leila’s youngest daughter.
I cannot imagine returning to Ireland permanently to live again. My family and friends back home always wonder how I can live in such a country and be happy where women are so “repressed”. I can only stress that most women in Dubai I have come across have more fulfilled lives than any of us western women can ever dream to have! Just because it looks that way towards the outside, does not mean there is a maze of different world’s to discover on the inside!

Photos courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.

Filed Under: Other Tagged With: dubai, gender, uae

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Maria Malik says

    25 March 2016 at 16:27

    Dubai is a best place for starting a business. We provide you a pathway so for guideline Visit our page : https://www.facebook.com/Dubaistartups/

  2. John Henry says

    4 December 2014 at 07:57

    Hi,

    My name is John, I’m expect here, I’m enjoying a lot here, sunny weather and everything you need is available in dubai, I’m doing a short english conversation course as well where I meet new people. Its amazing ! I love Dubai

  3. Mostafa Azab says

    14 February 2014 at 05:40

    Hello everybody, I am Expact here look for making friends and hang outs, do not like being alone, feel free to contact me

    • Margit says

      14 February 2014 at 10:00

      Hi Mostafa,

      Why don’t you try joining our InterNations Community in Dubai to meet new people?

      http://www.internations.org/dubai-expats

  4. Ali says

    6 January 2014 at 21:26

    wow i like this story .. i also want to live over their … Any One can help me to get Job Over their .. plzz

    • Margit says

      8 January 2014 at 10:57

      Hi Ali,

      First of all, I’m sorry for the belated reply. All comments are moderated and answered personally by the InterNations team, and lots of us were out of the office over Christmas and New Year’s Day. Happy 2014, by the way!

      I’m afraid, though, that InterNations is not primarily a job portal. We are mainly an expat network for socializing, as well as professional networking. However, you could try to join our Dubai Community and ask our local members over there about the employment situation in your field of work.

      To send a membership request, please start by filling in the form on our homepage. Please be aware, though, that membership is currently moderated by our Member Relations team.

      http://www.internations.org/

  5. Amanda says

    26 July 2013 at 02:12

    Lovely to hear a firsthand experience Moira, Thank you.

  6. Marlene Berbari says

    29 May 2013 at 19:58

    I would like to send my CV to some of you living in Dubai in order to get there a job.
    I tried to apply through the jobs posted but no reply until now.
    if you can help me to do so since you have connection, please let me know, send me an email please.
    thank you,
    Marlene B.

    • Margit Grobbel says

      31 May 2013 at 09:54

      Hi Marlene,

      Have you already applied and registered on InterNations? It’s probably easier to ask for tips on the job market in our Dubai Forum, for example — I’m not sure if many people will still see the comments in a blog post from 2011, I’m sorry to say. Best of luck with the job search!

      Margit (the blog mod)

  7. Valentina says

    6 October 2011 at 10:08

    Hi Thurid,
    I hope the same for you! But some things take time, I am sure Moira’s story is an exception…
    Good luck and all the best for the future,
    Valentina

  8. thurid says

    4 October 2011 at 18:58

    interessting and nice to read.Im new here in Dubai even I have a full time work as Dental Hyg. I feel the lonelynes after my work.Even I love do sport,knitting,brodering and reading Its hard to get to know someone.Thanks for letting me read Y story ,hoping that the day will come that I also can have local friend here.

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